The suck does not accurately describe what I’m feeling at the moment
Angry. I can’t believe it. I was in a minor fender bender this morning. I now have a moderate 6inch by 2inch dent on the top of my right front wheel well. I can’t freakin believe it. I was merging into the right lane while driving through the city and unbeknownst to me a car had come up along side me and I merged right into them. I bumped them. There really isn’t any damage on the other car, only some paint scratching and scuffing. It mostly will just wash right off probably. I have no idea if this car had sped up to the side of me and thats why I didn’t see it or if it was just completely my fault and i had a possibly expensive mental lapse.
AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
oh and just to add another jab right into my side, I noticed yesterday I have a hairline fracture on my windshield that I’m gonna have to replace the windshield as well now.
So much for having my insurance rates go down. :(
Well thats the title of the chapter I’m about to start in Dance of Days, the book I’m reading.
What else is going on. I’m staying up too late again. It seems to be a theme lately.
Wow I can’t think of anything else to write right now.
Oh yeah. I’m taking applications. Put a comment here as a response. Applications for what you say? Well make up what you want to apply for and submit to me. There’s quite a few positions open and highly available here in the World of Mike.
Due to my previous entry about the noises I was hearing on my walk to my car after work I figured I’d actually put up the piece I wrote a few years ago about a great silence I experienced for a short period.
I stepped outside onto the walk and began down the street. Something struck me as very odd when I walked out into this spring night. It was silence. Maybe it was the lack of wind or the light mist which filled the night air. Possibly both were responsible. That need not be a concern though. The main thing I focused on was the silence. I stopped dead in my stride and just listened, to nothing. It left me in awe. This silence took me by suprise. It made me feel good. The silence was not that of a vaccum but it was devoid of any resonant sound. Background noise. The mist in the air and lack of wind muffled any resonant sound into a peaceful white noise. It was a cushion of silence. From this realization I began to walk again down the street. On through the silence I had urges to speak aloud because of the great awe I felt from my situation. I did not, I kept a silent admiration of my situation. I could not break this beautiful silence. It made me look into the void and see how safe it could be. In this silence I could almost look into my own soul. I got to my car and stood in front of it realizing what I must do. I had to break the silence. Not just because I needed to get home but because these types of things can only last a short time and it is better that I broke the silence myself, instead of anything or anyone else. I sit in the driver’s seat of my car and pay my last respects to that comfortable void. I turn the key, the fuel injects into my engine and a combustion of gasoline brings my car to life. Breaking the silence and bringing me back.
Last night for no good reason, except that I was playing a game and watching Sunday evening Football on ESPN, I stayed up a bit later than I think I really should have. I know this because my whole day at work I was completely dazed. I just felt like I wanted to lay my head down at my desk and go to sleep right in my cubicle. So fastforward to the end of the day. 4:00pm hits I split and I begin my 1/4 mile walk to the overflow parking lot that I’ve had to park in most days while I’m at work. There’s a cheesy bus that comes around but shoot I’d rather walk gives me a little exercise and half the time I arrive at my car before the bus would have gotten me there anyways.
Ok to the point. I was walking to my car, and for some reason, my mind decided to take this walk and really pay attention to all the sound going on around me. I don’t know whether i made a concious decision to hear everything, or if it just happened. All i can say though is that it made that walk i’ve done a 100 times a completely different experience. It was amazing how much stuff you could hear just on my way. It was noise. It was that background filler that everybody blocks out and ignores. I don’t know why anymore. I don’t know why you’d wanna block that out. Hearing all those sounds made me feel the most alive I had felt all day. Hell that short 1/4 mile walk was the most alive i’ve felt in a while. From the start of the walk I was hearing first the hum of the highway that is about a 1/2 mile off to my left. Then I was hearing some jet plane sounds from BWI airport. Now all of these sounds were distinct. My brain was parsing them. I knew what direction they were all coming from. I’d hear the cars driving up the road from behind me and I’d distinctly recognize the ones coming towards me. I’d hear the cars around the corner before they came into view. All along I was also hearing the bugs. The crickets chirping in the grass. The beetles humming in the tree. Something that sounded like a delapitated cicada ( I say this because if you took a cicada sound and made it non-constant and only had the sound chirp out at 1 second intervals every few seconds). Furthermore I heard some birds off in the trees that I couldn’t see. But i knew just about where they were (I should know what these birds were just by the sounds, at least I know my father would, and probably would expect me too as well ;) ). I have to say I was pretty speechless for how much sound I was percieving for my short walk to my car. I almost wanted to stop and just listen some more. Even then I couldn’t stop because one of the sounds that kept the whole experience going was my own footsteps adding there own rhythm into the mix. Even if I could have spoken or said anything, I don’t think I’d want to ( not to metion talking to yourself while walking alone isn’t quite the sanest looking thing lol).
That whole experience brought my day into a good spin, and I needed that. Its one thing i can take away from an otherwise very mediocre day, a monday if I ever saw one. It was a really interesting thing. Half way through my walk I began to think about writing this entry on here. One of the biggest reasons is because it is very much the antithesis of an experience I had a few years ago, that I wrote about in a journal later on that night. The journal entry I called “Of admiration of silence”. I think may transcribe it onto here as soon as I’m done this entry. It will create a good balance to this current piece. The basic idea (and possibly you’ve read it already by the time you get to this entry) is that I had an experience of almost no sound. Somehow I was walking down the street and sound just dampened to utter silence. There wasn’t any wildlife, cars, planes, hums of electricity. They may have been there, but something in the air that night dampened it all out into a void of sound. It was very much the opposite of todays experience, though they were both very refreshing and good.
Well speaking of Noise. I got a whole lot of Dischord today. Whole bunch of Fugazi CD’s, the Minor Threat compilation, and a book called Dance of Days by Mark Anders(e)n. Dance of Days is about the history of the DC Punk scene. Should be a really interesting read. Its gonna be a punk month I can feel it. I think the way my last month has gone, things will definately be different. Even going back to normal, whatever that is, would be different, since the last month has been quite a rollercoaster ride.
rock it, believe it.
